Looking for Destination

It was a hazy morning and Cubao was smugly as hell and all people were looking bohemians. The smug is running in my veins and killing me in a secretive passion. No wonder this city is a city of madness, where people are rushing and going nowhere. Yes there is a definite destination and the goal is to reach the point B but the destination I am looking for is just purely nowhere. We’ve been into series of searching for nothing. Human is still encapsulated from thoughts and meaning that are beyond they can think of. We haven’t find the meaning of life, of sense and of these collective thoughts, but we found the best manner to die. At least we find something.

During a bloody traffic in Edsa, my soul dies before it . I die every time I see these chaos around me and I am trying to fake everything as if I never heard nor perceived anything. Fragile but fake. The smug and the horns is killing me. The dilapidated buses and the rushing humans before and after me.  An old woman begging for coins. The footbridge. These are overflowing madness from us. And I die with it. I die not because I pity these people, but I empathize them and feel them living in such madness. Manila is not a solemn place to die. When your death comes and unluckily you die here, you will be bringing with you a lonely romance with the city’s depression. Then your death becomes worthless after all.

We are looking for destination because a voice inside us is urging us to seek for it. We tried and tried but just the same, everyday. . . we are confronted with this madness that slowly kills us. We are looking for a destination . . .